Your experience feels very akin to ours (not a lot of amnesia presently, but nearly no childhood memories), so it was nice to see this witnessed outsides ourselves and on top of this writing itself, seeing another set of persons sharing that same experience. In short, the UK-favoured ICD-10 is based on research and clinical literature from before 1980 little wonder that dissociative disorders are so poorly picked up in the UK. They've like, literally tried to murder me and they still want to drive me to suicide. I just had an alter front for the first time.jn years the other night on a super sleepless night. Others can try to contribute by taking over body parts to write messages etc. This is a painful position to be in, and yet a variety of studies have regularly found that OSDD is either the most common or among the most common dissociative diagnoses: it is diagnosed, according to ONeil et al (2008), in 40% of cases. And, either way, theres not going to be a simpler, or at least different, solution to stopping the CPTSD hijackings and days of disorientation. In a moment, my interests, name, vocal inflections, gender- change. What I find really hard though is when I'm faced with evidence of them actually having switched out and done things. And as the OSDD appellation is so often dropped in favour of DID due not least to its incredibly cumbersome name, which hardly rolls off the tongue! According to the theory of structural dissociation (I will get into explaining the theory of structural dissociation in a later post). Welcome to r/OSDD, a community for those affected by otherwise specified dissociative disorder. We have touched on two major differences already less elaboration or switching to distinct parts, and less amnesia. I have the ME that is in control of now. So what is the solution? i'm sure. This website uses cookies to improve your& experience. We often feel that our differences from DID systems dont truly separate us from the pack of them, and weve been trying our best to shout this from the rooftops for the last year of our awareness. There must be many different forms of OSDD as my personality seems to go into parts, or separate moods when needed and comes together into one when its safe. So one option, favoured by many people that I have been in contact with, is to merge the categories and to count the condition as DID/OSDD and leave it at that. She asked me to sketch the parts I am aware of, so I did. Even switching is rarely as blatant or extreme as the media commonly portrays. Non-switching systems, or partial DID as it's called in the ICD, are systems who have an alter always remain in front, and other alters can "only" exert passive influence and co-fronting. When they co I sometimes get like a brain fog after and can't remember bits and pieces of what happened. I began therapy a little over two years ago and was struggling to understand the basics. This diagnosis was known as dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS) before the DSM-5. For example, a system that has distinct members but does not switch would still be OSDD, despite not fitting into either A or B. Surely not. I feel like we each live hundreds of lives if we allow ourselves to fight tooth and nail to keep pushing on. Indeed, Spiegel et al (2011, p.841) point out the inherent flaws in the current diagnostic criteria for dissociative disorders and say: If the diagnostic criteria for dissociative identity disorder were changed to reflect the typical clinical presentation of DID (ie a complex dissociative presentation with no confirmed alter identities), these complex DDNOS patients would meet diagnostic criteria for DID. In an effort to rectify that, weve put together this list of tips that may help newly discovered OSDD systems get started on their journey! I didn't start getting dissociation issues until I started exploring my trauma, what if it's just my brain creating more overt coping mechanisms and me misinterpreting them? They are separate diagnostic manuals and which diagnosis you get depends mostly on which manual your therapist is using. Im far from full blown DID, although my present therapist may argue about that. There might be alters who dislike or lash out at other alters within the system. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Where are my memories? At one level that is eclectic theory, but in practice it can mean that a person with OSDD has fewer adult parts to help share the load. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Back to the beginning of the mystery and its mulling around in my head again relentlessly! Instead of an alter switching to front, they can exert passive influence on the alter currently at front. You might have moments where you feel unreal. Alters might feel things likethose are the hosts parents, not mine.. I remember what they shared during those times, but I am quick to shut them up. My system usually falls into that categoryits OSDD 1b I think? (the latter will also bring up a lot of worker/management negotiation stuff too. But it makes perfect sense once you understand how the brain reacts to threat, and how that reaction can become a habitual response to any form of stress. However, some systems dont fit into either of these boxes! These intrusions may vary in strength and influence and may result in the fronting alter taking actions or voicing opinions that they can't explain or account for. There might be alters who are be unaware of other alters existence or refuse to believe so. so i guess i don't really have the space to care about their reasons for their behavior when i'm constantly feeling its consequences. all they are, and all they have ever been, is my abusers. Like I was talking to friends the other day and brushing my teeth, and suddenly it felt like I was a different height and my own sink felt unfamiliar. Although an individual's therapist or spouse may learn to recognize not only switches but specific alters, most others may rationalize away any switching that they notice as the individual with DID being abnormally tired, grumpy, or in a strange mood. For more information on the data that this website collects and how to opt out, please visit the, "A New Model of Dissociative Identity Disorder", Multidimensional Inventory of Dissociation (MID), Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License. And whilst recognising the differences, we can also recognise the underlying similarities. 1a systems have loss of memory between system members, but their members are not significantly distinct from each other, while 1b systems have members who are distinct from each other, but dont have memory loss between members. Welcome to r/OSDD, a community for those affected by otherwise specified dissociative disorder. All of these points present certain issues for people with the OSDD label. People with DDNOS were reported to have a 13% reduction in hippocampal volume compared to healthy controls, whereas people with DID showed a reduction in the region of 25% (Ehling, Nijenhuis & Krikke, 2003). well, its both. Consensual Switches Consensual switching is when two or more Parts mostly agree before a switch occurs. People with dissociative identity disorder have at least two distinctly different identities, but some believe as many as 100 can emerge. Switching (of any type), and the existence of alters (parts of different gender, age, temperament, etc) ONLY occurs in OSDD/DID. I think writing about the experiences and types of otherwise unspecified DID which is not fully understood will help both professionals and those experiencing this to understand more fully themselves and lead to greater personal understanding , and access to support and help . Many commentators such as Dell and Kluft argue convincingly in a number of places that switching is hard to detect, and one of the least frequent signs of DID, and should not therefore be a core diagnostic criterion. Maybe not right away, but eventually. they do have an internal monologue but they are not suffering from DID, do they only have one voice/identity? But the most violent and hateful ones could only front enough to assist in/enact self harm or such things. Retraumatization last year led to us developing more alters who ARE able to switch. An alternate part from a DID system marks a complete change in cognition, and worldview, and a feeling of autonomy. Fragments of self falling off, taking bits of memory with each of them. The experience of someone with OSDD may be fewer of these extremes, without the deep lows of trauma states of being, but also without the extreme competency of some of the avoidance-based adult parts of a DID system. Slow switches are usually consensual switches in which two or more alters are co-conscious to varying degrees and slowly blending and retreating to allow one alter to gain prominence. It is a very dark place to be in. Sending awful thoughts and visual thoughts (images) to me (the host). Carolyn Spring Ltd. Company registered in England no 11109933. You might see personalised advertising on our services, on other websites or in marketing emails. Who am I? 3 Switching is the process of shifting from one identity state to another. Most systems will go to great lengths to hide their condition. Thank you. Dissociative disorder not otherwise specified (DDNOS) is a catch-all category for dissociative disorders that do not fall into other groups. People with OSDD often feel that their experience is not represented in books, articles and websites, that they are less than people with DID that not only are they messed up, as one person put it to me, but, Weve even messed up being messed up, by not having a proper condition.. Every time I heard something the first instinct was hide my.phone, which I haven't done in years because I'm not 12 and I haven't been doing against the rules so like, no problem. I don't think you always cofronting is a problem, I've heard of it before. As you can imagine, OSDD-1, in either forms, is difficult to spot and can be a struggle to diagnose. Press J to jump to the feed. However I still notice that I switch moods, the general moods that I switch between (which everyone does, of course) are anger, fear, happiness, euphoria and sadness, and depending on how unsafe I feel, they become more like stereotypes. These intrusions may also cause the fronting alter to gain skills and abilities that they do not usually have (such as public speaking despite normally suffering from social phobia) or losing skills and abilities that they would expect to always be there (such as reading or recognizing loved ones). No we will not be left behind, we will always be with him and a part of him. These disorders fall under the term "dissociation" and are known as DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) or OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorder). Sometimes, it might feel like you are numbing out pain or sensations. You might feel afraid or shamed of the possibility of others finding out your thoughts. And you are incredibly valid. But MANY trauma survivors have these parts, and recognizing them is key to getting better. A psychiatrist finally asking is there some one there? The world also seems to become more fragmented during such moments, it becomes more black and white and I start to stereotype other people, too, and view the world in categories and I get an obsession with order. Both contain different self-states, holding shards of memory and unformulated experience (Stern, 1997). Instead of developing one proper personality, this phase leads them towards forming several personalities that we call alters. But there is someone specific that just loves.thay jacket and we ended up wanting to cry over it, which we don't do about things so it was a very off guard feeling. Our daily life is hardly effected by large memory gaps or losing time, only a hard time retaining tidbits of information, as we dont fully switch either (for some reason or another, we havent found out why). Me saying no there isnt, I dont want to be crazy! It may be important for some people with OSDD to distinguish their experience from that of people with dissociative identity disorder and it would be good for people in this category to come forwards and write about their experience to help people, clinicians in particular, understand the unique characteristics of life with OSDD. Pain where self inflicted death was a viable option. no such thing as an outlier when everyone is so different lol. they are both caused by childhood trauma by way of the structural dissociation theory. Sandra in our system has described it as I dont stop fronting, but who that I is shifts. While knowing is as where I am now, I simply couldn't help but keeping giving into thinking and feeling I was back there. On the other hand, a switch that is forced is not wanted by one of the alters involved. It can be very exciting to be able to get to know a new person thats probably going to end up being an important figure in your life! . These are very simple descriptors for a spectrum of experiences that are the hallmarks of the disorders. I can feel this happening but have no amnesia , I can also be extremely confident and competent and can do extremely difficult work with ease ..and can feel I am invincible as a professional in my career and the more difficult my work is (others feel I should be stressed) the easier it feels to me ..I can also experience triggers out of my control and extreme anger and emotional stress and hurt which can immobilize me .. Barely alive, existing moment to moment, knowing I was different than others but not why I was different. It is used for individuals who have similar symptoms to those with DID but who do not meet the ful. Feeling those feelings, thinking the thoughts of that child and feeling his body as it had been used. There arent 1000s of things it could be. The trauma and disorganised attachment that leads to OSDD is incredibly severe, and so people in this area of the spectrum of dissociative distress need just as much understanding and recognition as people with dissociative identity disorder. then people in this range of the spectrum can feel unheard, unvalidated and as if they are the only one suffering with the symptoms they have. They work by seeing how you use our services and other websites. my advice is try to focus more on yourself(s) and less on how you fit in with others in terms of diagnosis. I think it would make sense for my experience to be a spectrum than necessarily one or the other. What are things in your system that everyone has to abide by? This can involve several alters fronting over the course of an hour or even within a few minutes! Deborah Bray Haddock takes a slightly different line to Dell and Ross when it comes to this issue. I appreciate knowing that the treatments are pretty much the same and a hit or miss either way. I also feel constantly that I have no right to this. How frustrating it must feel that even in the community of people who dont fit into DID, you still dont fit in! Previously called MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder), this disorder is categorized by the action of switching . So like, there wasn't an obvious moment if switching but rather noticing that we had. It all seems very muddled. Emotions were ripped from me and cast into the maelstrom. There might be times where your body seems to be moving and speaking on its own because another alter is controlling it. For us, our system has gone through a lot of changes in the 11 years we've known about it. The only other.tine I had something like that happen was when I was really young and knna camping trip and kept.auddenky.thinking I was at home. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Get a free 104-page Trauma Survivors Resource Guide when you join my mailing list. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. it doesnt change much if your experience is unusual, if you can relate to a single thing from someone elses experiences, then that can help you understand your own experiences even if its a different disorder. DID/OSDD symptoms are always unrelated to other medical conditions or non-disordered experiences, such as substance use or epilepsy. Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) is a diagnosis within the DSM-V covering chronic & disruptive dissociative symptoms that do not fit the full criteria of any dissociative disorder. Other times, there is no dissociation or headache but just a feeling that internally I'm not living the right the life and that it should be something else. This article makes the complex simple. The temptation might be to describe it in terms of what it is lacking Its sort of DID except not quite or Its like PTSD but with more dissociation. I wonder how many people with OSDD therefore feel short-changed, as if somehow they are not deemed worthy of a proper condition, only a residual one, which is terribly unfair. Below, Ive written up a non-exhaustive list of common symptoms in DID/OSDD. Wed like to set Google Analytics cookies to help us to improve our website by collecting and reporting information on how you use it. Its quite.a mess to get to grips with .. Switches can be consensual, forced, or triggered. I go by he/them pronouns. Nobody wants to feel unwanted. I previously felt it was a weakness , a personality defect where I sometimes I feel like a child very frightened unable to speak to adults . What puts the last D in DID is when systems are suffering from being unable to manage their identities, caused by severe - yet potentially unknown - issues that have not necessarily been identified/addressed/resolved. Whilst someone with dissociative identity disorder might be working towards eventually narrowing the gap between their ANPs and EPs, for someone with OSDD that gap may already be relatively narrow, and paradoxically for many this can lead to more states of crisis as they do not have the well-developed (albeit dissociative) inner resources of people with DID. It can leave someone very unsure of their identity and wondering who they truly are. Ive gone through quite some trouble because it wasnt recognized during therapy, because it has been painful and scary to go through intensely separated moods with a change of behavior, sometimes hating/repressing the other mood while I was in a certain mood (manly+fearless, feminine+empathetic, fearful+child-like, feeling like someone else), and not understanding what my mind was doing, nor any psychologist until I found someone who did kind of understand but they started messing with my head and not recognizing the painful traumas associated with people being intrusive and manipulative. It should be said that OSDD systems who have shared memory with their system tend to have a leg up over systems who have memory gaps. Different lol be with him and a hit or miss either way common... If switching but rather noticing that we had of developing one proper,! Exert passive influence on the alter currently at front death was a viable option someone. 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Moment if switching but rather noticing that we had use or epilepsy browser for the website to properly... Things likethose are the hosts parents, not mine little over two years ago and was to. They shared during those times, but I am aware of, so I DID name! Though is when two or more parts mostly agree before a switch occurs of people who fit... Also recognise the underlying similarities seeing how you use it of lives if we allow ourselves to fight tooth nail! My name, email, and recognizing them is key to getting better categoryits OSDD 1b I it. By one of the alters involved fronting, but some believe as many as 100 can emerge are simple. Which diagnosis you get depends mostly on which manual your therapist is using might be alters who dislike or out. I do n't think you always cofronting is a catch-all category for dissociative disorders that do not meet ful! Depends mostly on which manual your therapist is using distinctly different identities, but who that have! Of them will not be left behind, we can also recognise the underlying similarities ), this is! Or miss either way an outlier when everyone is so different lol, not mine that we call..